Hi!
Tuesday! Its Tuesday! Usually this is a good thing, except I seem to have a Monday occurring on my Tuesday.
So,... as an EA - I get to book travel! Do you know why this is a skill? Because executives are worse than spoiled rich children. I can book travel in 10 minutes using our system no problem and each time I initially purchase a trip I hit that "Purchase Trip" button knowing, no matter what, that:
A. It is wrong
B. It won't be wrong until we can pay the max last minute change fee
I booked three weeks ago with the vague hope that it was OK. After all we have lots of new travel restrictions. But yesterday, it reared its ugly head,... starting with the horror of the "Holiday Inn Express". I apparently inflicted a near fatal wound by using an approved, preferred compliant hotel through our travel service. Apparently, only at a Hyatt will she be spared a horrible lingering malady, global terrorism, or scratchy towels.
I rebooked the damned hotel. I printed up mapquest maps, printed itinarary.
"eh,... hemmm"
I look up suspiciously.
"Can we rebook my flight?Book me one for early morning, but get all the pricing info first so I can see how much it costs to change the flight."
(begin banging head on wall, I just rebooked the hotel less than an hour ago)
So I call to speak to a real person this time - because at this point I need to rebook a flight, a hotel, and a rental car *AND* be thrifty! Ummm yeah,... right. So, somehow I manage to get a hold of a real person, and really while I am talking to the nice lady, the monster rears up again.
"eh,... Hemmm"
No no no not again!!!!
"Can I get a late morning flight?"
Whack head on wall repeatedly. Tell nice lady - please rebook that flight again.
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
Friday, February 6, 2009
again, all I ever need to know I can learn on the bus
Hi!
Its Day Five of lemon cleanse hell - have decided that despite dropping 8lbs - food glorious food is calling my name again. That and I can't stand the way my teeth feel on this - fuzzy! I keep brushing but its well,.... not nice. I know I am oozing cayenne pepper out every pore, and my sense of smell is, well, heightened, THIS IS NOT GOOD WHEN YOU RIDE THE BUS.
So HI! I am on the bus, and there is well this dude,... who despite the fact I am waiting in line (first! First in line!) walks right in front on me wearing an ENORMOUS backback I cannot get around him while he procedes to have a long drawn out convo with the bus driver. Ugh,.. bad bad news I am confined in a small place and he, well, reeks. I can smell the cup of coffee he is holding which is sending my caffine deprived brain in to a frenzy. But he smells of other things too,... Like maybe last night's booze fest! EWWWWWW,..... and cologne. This is how apparently you cover up the fact that you are still a little drunk when heading into work. See?!?!?! I told you I learned stuff on the bus everyday. I finally managed to get around him and into a seat only to have him sit next to me! EW!!! Okay so secretly I was, gleeful cause I reek of cayenne pepper! But sadly, I doubt he could smell me over his own stench.
So why do people make cell calls on bus? I love listening in! From my side I get something like this:
"Hi!"
"Hey, I'm,... ummmm,... on 550 bus now heading into Bellevue, hey can you google what bus I need to take to get to the office?"
"yeah"
"ummmm,...... yeah?"
"yeah hey yeah the internet? Google? yeah type www-dot-g-o-o-g-l-e"
"ummm,... no , yeah you have to type .com"
Okay - I am gonna guess he *doesn't* work for a tech firm? Or perhaps he has one on those fancy office devices like a breathalyzer before you can get into your cubicle?
Okay - off and running now its time to hit the off key on Friday like hunny hits the acclerator when passing!!!
Its Day Five of lemon cleanse hell - have decided that despite dropping 8lbs - food glorious food is calling my name again. That and I can't stand the way my teeth feel on this - fuzzy! I keep brushing but its well,.... not nice. I know I am oozing cayenne pepper out every pore, and my sense of smell is, well, heightened, THIS IS NOT GOOD WHEN YOU RIDE THE BUS.
So HI! I am on the bus, and there is well this dude,... who despite the fact I am waiting in line (first! First in line!) walks right in front on me wearing an ENORMOUS backback I cannot get around him while he procedes to have a long drawn out convo with the bus driver. Ugh,.. bad bad news I am confined in a small place and he, well, reeks. I can smell the cup of coffee he is holding which is sending my caffine deprived brain in to a frenzy. But he smells of other things too,... Like maybe last night's booze fest! EWWWWWW,..... and cologne. This is how apparently you cover up the fact that you are still a little drunk when heading into work. See?!?!?! I told you I learned stuff on the bus everyday. I finally managed to get around him and into a seat only to have him sit next to me! EW!!! Okay so secretly I was, gleeful cause I reek of cayenne pepper! But sadly, I doubt he could smell me over his own stench.
So why do people make cell calls on bus? I love listening in! From my side I get something like this:
"Hi!"
"Hey, I'm,... ummmm,... on 550 bus now heading into Bellevue, hey can you google what bus I need to take to get to the office?"
"yeah"
"ummmm,...... yeah?"
"yeah hey yeah the internet? Google? yeah type www-dot-g-o-o-g-l-e"
"ummm,... no , yeah you have to type .com"
Okay - I am gonna guess he *doesn't* work for a tech firm? Or perhaps he has one on those fancy office devices like a breathalyzer before you can get into your cubicle?
Okay - off and running now its time to hit the off key on Friday like hunny hits the acclerator when passing!!!
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
Day 2
Hi! Its umm,..... Tuesday! Yes! We like Tuesdays. First, they are not Mondays. This is a good thing! Secondly, Tusdays are Scrap Nights! Now how can that be bad? Me, paper, glue, ink, and a computer? Perfect recipe for a messy house!
So yesterday, I mentioned the cleanse. Its day 2 and I am still deeply suspicious of this stuff. its not good. I seem to remember about day 3 hunny started reeking of cayenne. My office mates are going to love me here shortly,... I did not do the salt water thingie this morning - I sort of feel asleep last night and forgot to set alarm - HI! ! Hunny actually got out of bed and started following me around,...
"Are you going to do the salt water rinse this morning?"
Me "Ummmmm,..no?"
"Why?"
"ummmmmm,... I don't have time to wait for results?"
Or more likely the idea of being trapped on bus with impending intestines of doom doesn't sound like a good way to start morning? I've already had to put down a major on- going protest going over the caffine-famine of '09.
He keeps following me around -
"Now don't forget your maple syrup!" - I mutter a few incantations at the squeeze bottle to ward off the very real danger of it going off like like a dye bomb in a bank robbery in my laptop bag.) Check!
"Don't forget the cayenne!" - Oh oh !!! I learned new word - thermogenic! For food that cause you to sweat when you eat them? Isn't that attractive???
So here I sit with my "lemonade". I will simply say this about it, yes drinking this stuff kills any desire to eat at all. I think its all the burning off of the taste buds,... but after considering my mid-section, perhaps this is not a bad thing.
Back to the reports now!
So yesterday, I mentioned the cleanse. Its day 2 and I am still deeply suspicious of this stuff. its not good. I seem to remember about day 3 hunny started reeking of cayenne. My office mates are going to love me here shortly,... I did not do the salt water thingie this morning - I sort of feel asleep last night and forgot to set alarm - HI! ! Hunny actually got out of bed and started following me around,...
"Are you going to do the salt water rinse this morning?"
Me "Ummmmm,..no?"
"Why?"
"ummmmmm,... I don't have time to wait for results?"
Or more likely the idea of being trapped on bus with impending intestines of doom doesn't sound like a good way to start morning? I've already had to put down a major on- going protest going over the caffine-famine of '09.
He keeps following me around -
"Now don't forget your maple syrup!" - I mutter a few incantations at the squeeze bottle to ward off the very real danger of it going off like like a dye bomb in a bank robbery in my laptop bag.) Check!
"Don't forget the cayenne!" - Oh oh !!! I learned new word - thermogenic! For food that cause you to sweat when you eat them? Isn't that attractive???
So here I sit with my "lemonade". I will simply say this about it, yes drinking this stuff kills any desire to eat at all. I think its all the burning off of the taste buds,... but after considering my mid-section, perhaps this is not a bad thing.
Back to the reports now!
Monday, February 2, 2009
so how did I nice girl like me end up on the master cleanse?
Ahem,...... its Monday again, I am not sure how these things keep sneaking up on me. Friday I chucked the dogs, gear, etc into the truck got the step ladder out and a couple of phone books, and gleefully made myself a perch and proceded to point the wheels in the direction of the fiscally-enabling place of toil for my hunny. He was having one of "those" days - as immediately evident by red ink decorating several plan type looking papers, .... ummmm best bet here, shut mouth sit quietly and whatever you do for goodness sake DO NOT ASK when he will be finished.
Anyway after much muttering, paper shuffling and the occassional hmpht!
"Oh you are here."
I look around,.... um yes I am here.
"Well are you ready to go?"
Ummm,... lets see, I doped the big dog (just a little! All Natural supplements for doggie-be-calm or at least be doggie-less-slobbery-figity-making-everyone-miserable-in-the-car.) but just to be safe, I check - yes I have my shoes on, my coat is right here, Hmmm I feel ready to go? "Yes?"
Have I mentioned the hunny hates traffic? Only thing he hates worse than traffic is someone else driving. He states he likes it when someone else drives, but,.... having the uppity anal driving instructor in the passenger seat is not my cuppa tea. Seriously, he'd wake up from the dead to tell me that he felt the acceleration when I am passing a car,... ummm HI! isn't that kinda normal if you are passing?? So,... he drives, and I use the oh-sh-t handle. He hits the accelerator like I hit the off key on my computer on a Friday afternoon.
Anyway - 4.5 hours and five margaritas later we roll into the cabin. I slog up the driveway carrying my small metric ton of stuff, post hole my way to the outhouse to collect keys, Ah-HA! I am so smug in my abilities I unlock all four locks it take to get in and head out to help with rest of items,... and whoops! This is when my karma for disaster strikes. I let the inner door close and it decides to yeah! Lock me out! Now isn't this funny? For some reason I am not humor-enabled by this. And the engineer I brought promptly starts swearing up a blue streak ( so *that's* what it sounds like!!) and crabbing about more DRIVING.
Anyway while he was having fits and frothing at the mouth while rolling in crusty snow and cursing the universe - I found a Costco card and HI! the bottom lock ain't all that secure, tis prolly why there are three other locks,.... of course now hunny is very suspicious and is now convinced that good hard working Oregon boys, do not have the deviousness of mid-west girls. Hmmmm I thought it was common sense,.. who knew? Damn and I thought I led a mundane and deprived childhood,....
Rest of weekend was uneventful, the usual stuff - he insists MUST leave by noon on Sunday, it the GAME the only REAL sport and despite it is not our team - we MUST be fans and watch. So after getting up at the crack of 9 am he went back to bed around 10 am. Hmmm I never did get how this works? Hi! We are in car by a little before one. And Hunny is giving my looks because,... I am wearing my gaitors. He looks pointedly at them and says "?" HA! I know you silly engineer man - but I simply archly smile and say "oh easier than carrying them?" which sets him happily settling into his favorite activity "why engineers always make the best choices" complete with head shaking, and tsking. But its okay cause I know hunny's self-promotion is worth about as much as the bovine grass recycling ovoids!
So yes shortly down the road - he pulls over. Now there is a rule on hwy 12 about having less than 5 cars following - but knowing math is not my strong subject, I decide not to mention that there are ZERO cars behind us. More muttering and then the casual - "oh hey - there is a cache right here."
I know the proper counter phrase - how far hunny? Just Three-Eighths! Joy! Okay,... ummm is it up that hill-mountain-cliff thingie? Just a little, well maybe at the ridge, or just a little over towards the top. Sigh,... actually huff huff huff my way up hill - to a man-cave! its a lovely view, snap the appropriate pictures, smooch the hunny, and try to ignore the rock twice the size of my head that just let loose and went flying down the hillside. FD is looking at me like ??? how did nice girls like us get here?
But we made it down to the truck. And my gaitors,.... hehehehe they are STILL da bom,... were definitely the right choice cause hunny is pouring rocks outta his boots,... :)
Anyway after much muttering, paper shuffling and the occassional hmpht!
"Oh you are here."
I look around,.... um yes I am here.
"Well are you ready to go?"
Ummm,... lets see, I doped the big dog (just a little! All Natural supplements for doggie-be-calm or at least be doggie-less-slobbery-figity-making-everyone-miserable-in-the-car.) but just to be safe, I check - yes I have my shoes on, my coat is right here, Hmmm I feel ready to go? "Yes?"
Have I mentioned the hunny hates traffic? Only thing he hates worse than traffic is someone else driving. He states he likes it when someone else drives, but,.... having the uppity anal driving instructor in the passenger seat is not my cuppa tea. Seriously, he'd wake up from the dead to tell me that he felt the acceleration when I am passing a car,... ummm HI! isn't that kinda normal if you are passing?? So,... he drives, and I use the oh-sh-t handle. He hits the accelerator like I hit the off key on my computer on a Friday afternoon.
Anyway - 4.5 hours and five margaritas later we roll into the cabin. I slog up the driveway carrying my small metric ton of stuff, post hole my way to the outhouse to collect keys, Ah-HA! I am so smug in my abilities I unlock all four locks it take to get in and head out to help with rest of items,... and whoops! This is when my karma for disaster strikes. I let the inner door close and it decides to yeah! Lock me out! Now isn't this funny? For some reason I am not humor-enabled by this. And the engineer I brought promptly starts swearing up a blue streak ( so *that's* what it sounds like!!) and crabbing about more DRIVING.
Anyway while he was having fits and frothing at the mouth while rolling in crusty snow and cursing the universe - I found a Costco card and HI! the bottom lock ain't all that secure, tis prolly why there are three other locks,.... of course now hunny is very suspicious and is now convinced that good hard working Oregon boys, do not have the deviousness of mid-west girls. Hmmmm I thought it was common sense,.. who knew? Damn and I thought I led a mundane and deprived childhood,....
Rest of weekend was uneventful, the usual stuff - he insists MUST leave by noon on Sunday, it the GAME the only REAL sport and despite it is not our team - we MUST be fans and watch. So after getting up at the crack of 9 am he went back to bed around 10 am. Hmmm I never did get how this works? Hi! We are in car by a little before one. And Hunny is giving my looks because,... I am wearing my gaitors. He looks pointedly at them and says "?" HA! I know you silly engineer man - but I simply archly smile and say "oh easier than carrying them?" which sets him happily settling into his favorite activity "why engineers always make the best choices" complete with head shaking, and tsking. But its okay cause I know hunny's self-promotion is worth about as much as the bovine grass recycling ovoids!
So yes shortly down the road - he pulls over. Now there is a rule on hwy 12 about having less than 5 cars following - but knowing math is not my strong subject, I decide not to mention that there are ZERO cars behind us. More muttering and then the casual - "oh hey - there is a cache right here."
I know the proper counter phrase - how far hunny? Just Three-Eighths! Joy! Okay,... ummm is it up that hill-mountain-cliff thingie? Just a little, well maybe at the ridge, or just a little over towards the top. Sigh,... actually huff huff huff my way up hill - to a man-cave! its a lovely view, snap the appropriate pictures, smooch the hunny, and try to ignore the rock twice the size of my head that just let loose and went flying down the hillside. FD is looking at me like ??? how did nice girls like us get here?
But we made it down to the truck. And my gaitors,.... hehehehe they are STILL da bom,... were definitely the right choice cause hunny is pouring rocks outta his boots,... :)
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